For centuries, Albanian clans were known for their bloody family feuds. They considered it cowardly not to avenge the death of one of their own. Sometimes retaliation would set off a chain reaction that left 25 to 30 people dead before it ended.

This bloody tradition continued until 1990, when a group of Albanian peacemakers settled a large number of those clan conflicts. The change came about because the people found something they desired more than revenge. They wanted to become a part of the wider European community, and also to unite in defending themselves against a common enemy.

So too, church fights and family feuds will end when Christians find something they want more than the bitter excitement of a grudge match. Holding a grudge loses its appeal when the combatants realize they are cutting themselves off from the support and enjoyment they need, which Christian fellowship provides. Getting even doesn't look so appealing when they see how their angry words and belittling comments play into the hands of the devil, who is trying to destroy them.

Why pay the high price of getting even? We have so much more to gain by dropping our grudges and extending forgiveness. That's so much better than revenge!    — Mart De Haan