"You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14).
IDEA: Marriage for Christians is more than a contract.
PURPOSE: To help listeners appreciate what a contract relationship involves.
When you were married, did you write your own vows?
When you perform a ceremony, do you allow couples to write their vows?
Suppose a couple wrote their own vows, what would be involved if they made these following promises?
I. Suppose they promise to honor and cherish each other “as long as our love shall last”?
The unspoken expectation may be that a person will stay in the marriage relationship as long as his/her needs are met.
This marriage is a “contract.” It is a quid-pro-quo arrangement stated or implied.
II Suppose they promise to stay in the marriage “as long as we are both faithful to keep the promises we have given to each other”?
This implies that a broken promise automatically ends the relationship.
It would be imperative that the promises be spelled out in detail so that both parties are aware of them. It leaves no room for sinfulness.
This is also a contract. It is less than binding.
III. Suppose they are more specific and say, “As long as we each carry out the elements in the prenuptial agreement which we have made with one another.”
This assumes a legal document spelling out how each will act in some of the situations in a marriage. For example,
How they will share their income and how much debt they are willing to incur.
How they will divide household chores.
How many or few children they will have.
How they will spend their vacation, and who decides where they go.
The minimum number of times in a month when they will be physically intimate.
Tuesday, June 19, 2007, Part 2
IDEA: A marriage contract isn’t necessarily wrong.
PURPOSE: To help listeners see that while a Christian marriage is more than a contract, it may have elements of a contract in it.
When we sign a contract in our jobs, or when we sign a contract to write a book or buy a house, what is involved in a contract?
Is a marriage between Christians simply another contract?
Can there be elements of a contract in a Christian marriage?
I. It may be necessary for a Christian couple who are in love to spell out some matters in a contract before they are married.
A couple marrying for the second time who have children may be wise to spell out what happens to their estates after one of them dies.
II. Are there ever any contractual elements in a Christian marriage?
There are informal “contracts” in most marriage about responsibilities. They are not legal but are often operative.
Family relationships built on contract alone usually lack love and fall short of being a covenant relationship.
Couples have a marriage that is an unloving deadlock instead of holy wedlock in which both carry out their duties without much love. It’s less than what a good marriage should be, but both partners find that it’s better than not being married at all.